But the truth is, yes...yes I did. When JT and Ben were little, and they were pushing my buttons and not listening and they were on my last rapidly fraying nerve, I told them I was taking them to the "New Mommy Store" and they could pick out one they liked better and thought they could listen to. Now, we all know this store doesn't exist, but at the time THEY didn't know that and it proved to be a rather effective threat. They still talk about it to this day...I'm not quite as ashamed of this as I am about the time I asked Ben to take the garbage out and he started whining about it, and out of my mouth flew..."Ben! Grow a ball and take the freakin garbage out!!!!!" JT, of course, burst out laughing hysterically and continued for a long, long time. Ben, also found my frustration hilarious, thus ending in me taking the garbage out myself as they were both in hysterics. I had to wonder if my mother ever wanted to tell one of my three brothers to 'grow a ball' and I'm pretty sure the answer is no. Strike out for Kim...I know there have been other times where my darling older two boys (in very recent events) have been 'difficult' as teenage boys can be, and I have threatened many horrible things to their manhood if they didn't do what I was asking. I don't know why that is the first thing that flies out of my mouth, but sadly, it is. I think for Lent this year I'll try to stop threatening to cut off certain parts of their anatomy as a punishment...it really isn't very appropriate...which is why, I suppose, it's the worst thing I can come up with when they have pushed me too far...but by now, they have figured out that it is, indeed, and empty threat. I have also told them I was going to beat them with a red hot poker, which again, probably isn't going to happen. At the very least, I don't usually tell them that "I brought them into this world and I can take them out"...although I'm not saying I have NEVER said that..just not usually. That has to stand for something. (I hope.)
People often tell me how well I handle things. I wonder if these people are now reconsidering this...if not, there's more.
I have sent Levi to school without underwear. Honestly, I know when I got him dressed that morning, I had underwear on him, but I'm thinking he might have ditched them in the bathroom sometime between when I dressed him and when I sent him on his merry little way. Either way, I sent my kid to school commando. In jeans. With a zipper. Does anyone else see how this might have ended badly? Luckily, his teachers were nice enough to give me a call and alert me to the situation. Just last week, I sent him to school without socks. Seriously?? Where the heck is my head these days??? While I'm confessing, I have also let him eat a Twinkie and Dr. Pepper for breakfast. He wouldn't eat and he had to take his medicine!! I'm not proud of it...but I did it! Mother of the Year? Maybe not. Okay, probably not...especially after this morning when one of my daycare parents came in laughing and informed me there was a pair of Levi's underwear in front of the tree in the yard. I am terrified to know what they were doing there! I swear...only here...:(
There's more...soooo much more....
But right now, I have to go throw some underwear in the yard, feed Levi a Twinkie, hide his socks, threaten JT and Ben's manhood and hit the New Mommy Store...
Sorry, Mom...I just don't know what happened to me...but I'm pretty sure it wasn't your fault. :)
